Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
