Having a random hookup so left but love u
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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