help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
