I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
