She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Found your dick twin last night
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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