I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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