Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
