My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
