it was like his penis was on wheels.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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