you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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