New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And then my night got REAL pukey
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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