I love black thongs
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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