i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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