We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...