after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.