i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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