i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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