My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
