one two three fourrrrnication!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
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Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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