Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
false alarm, still single
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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