Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
