It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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