In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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