Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize