Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
