if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
