guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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