She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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