I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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