So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
