He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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