I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
