i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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