A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize