so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
