I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
