I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
