So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
