the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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