it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
