hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize