You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize