Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize