***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel like abortions should bother me more
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
