Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You are a genius and a whore.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
