Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
