Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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