Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
