Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i think i just lost a toe
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
