I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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