Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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