i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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