spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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