i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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