i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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