I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
