Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
