This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize