There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
