Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
