It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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