I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just found puke in my bra..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
