i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
