Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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