he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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