READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
